Day 18: Sleepy In Savannah

by carolyn on April 18, 2012

Source: tumblr.com via Carolyn on Pinterest

 

 

True story. The past few weeks my sleep has been kinda weird. Some nights I’m restless, some mornings I can barely wakeup. Some days I’m soooooooo energetic (Powerthirst YouTube video reference) while other days I can barely function. The past few days have been of the barely functioning variety and it’s more or less driving me crazy.

While yesterday I felt confident in myself, today I was in tears over my fatigue because it feels so beyond my control.

Furthermore when I’m tired I make poor food choices because I feel like I have to be munching on something all day just to pay attention to whatever task I’m trying to accomplish. And of course I’m not complaining about binging on carrot sticks and celery…think tortilla chips and cheese instead. The munchies combined with canceled workouts and disrupted sleep leaves me feeling even grouchier and less in control then previously thought possible.

I’ve spent the last 3 years rebuilding myself and my life after that notorious senior year. With much help from a strong support network, not the least of which were my parents (though I would never have admitted it at the time), I was able to:

-Quit smoking
-Lose about 50 pounds
-Make exercise an almost daily habit (huge thanks to Fitness Carrie for jump starting this…expect a post all about my first trainer someday…she’s the reason I’ve made it this far.)
-Make takeout a non-daily habit
-Start a career
-Move out on my own
-Get two super cute puppies
-Love once and get my heart broken a few more times
-Confront some longstanding personal problems
-See a little bit more of the world
-Grow up (a lot)
-Write
-Believe in myself again

It feels like in an instant I could be back where I was 3 years ago and lose everything I’ve gained or recovered since then. I don’t even really have a positive spin to put on this post, I just want to confess that I’m scared.

 

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